- Honour widows that are widows indeed. 1 Timothy 5:3
When is the last time you heard someone talk about the importance of caring for widows?
Widows are largely neglected and forgotten about in the church today. Our culture (in America) is infatuated with youth.
God's Desire
A widow is a married woman whose husband has died and who remains unmarried. In the Bible mourning, weeping and a sene of desolation, disillusionment, bitterness, loneliness and helplessness were often experienced by a widow following the death of her spouse. The loss of a husband was often a social and economic tragedy. Falling into debt and poverty sometimes, but not always, resulted once the main source of her financial support had been removed. Becoming a widow made her vulnerable. She was frequently placed alongside similar people such as the stranger (the landless imigrant) and the fatherless (e.g. Exodus 22:21-22, Deut. 24:17-21). Her plight would be aggravated if she had no able-bodied children to help her work the land of her former husband. Because of these changed circumstances, widows were often marginalized. therefore it is not surprising to find in ancient Israel that they were regarded as being in need of special protection. (Austin Walker)
1. What to do
Read the following passages and record what they teach about widows: - Psalm 68:5 - Jeremiah 49:11 - Deuteronomy 24:19 - Acts 6:1-7 - 1 Timothy 5:3-16 - James 1:27
2. How to do it
Many pastors are not aware of the intense waves of loniness and even dispair a widow can experience in the various stages of grief.
Minister the Word
Show them from the Bible that it is God's desire to care for her.
Ask questions about how she is doing.
Five areas of passages:
- Passages of comfort especially for widows
- Psalm 23, 28, 46, 62, 68:5, 113
- Jeremiah 49:11
- Hebrews 4:14-16
- Passages that show Gods' intentional care for widows
- Deut 16:11
- Ruth 1-4
- 1 Kings 17
- Psalm 146:9
- Lamentations 1;1-2,
- Luke 7:12-13
- Acts 6:1-7
- 1 Timothy 5:1-10
- Succinct gospel passages
- John 11:25-26
- Romans 5:6-11
- 2 Corinthians 5:17-21
- Ephesians 2:1-10
- Passages dealing with the purpose of suffering for a believer
- 2 Corinthians 12:7-9
- James 1:2-4
- 1 Peter 1:6-7; 4:12-19
- Passages related to the hope of eternity with Chist
- John 10:27-30; 14:1-3
- Philippians 1:21-23
- 1 Peter 1:3-5
Listen and Learn
You can learn a lot from seasoned widows, but only if you listen to them.
Listen
- Ask her about her life.
- Allow her to tell stories of her childhood.
- Ask her how she met her husband and how she knew she should marry him.
- Ask about various challenges in life.
- Ask about how they made a living.
- Ask about things that are important in her home.
- Ask about her spiritual journey.
- Ask about how she came to Jesus.
- Ask her about those who have discipled her.
Listening is a gift that allows her to sense the value God places on her life and to recall all that the Lord has done for her. It provides a healthy avenue for her to continue the grieving process and a change for you to learn about her life and know her better.
Learn
Few moments in life provide the clarity and perspective that come when a person experiences deep loss.
As you ask questions and listen, you will learn about - the saint God has placed in your care. - learn about her life, her joy and struggles - learn about her faith - learn about your own life as well.
Many Christian widows have experienced suffering and have a persevered through strong faith in Jesus Christ, giving them a valuable outlook on life and a wealth of wisdom and faith.
Provide a gift
Everyone loves receiving a gift. A gift says "I love and appreciate you."
Think of gifts that uniquely minister to her.
A needed gift
Addresses a real need, something a widow needs so she can persevere in her daily life.
Older people may need help upkeeping their property.
You can help them around the house.
Provide transportation to and company at doctors appointments.
An edible gift
Find out what goodies she loved to make for herself and her children. Bake a treat or buy one. Bring her favorite coffee or tea.
Find a way to brighten her day and remind her she is not forgotten.
A sentimental gift.
The most meaningful gifts I have received are the ones made just for me.
Find out what kinds of sentimental gifts her husband used to give her.
Ministering grace to a widow with a gift is about more than just the gift, it is about the message you communicate with the gift.
Involve your wife and family
Don't assume you need to minister alone. Don't assume you can minister alone.
Your wife will play an important role in ministering to the women who are in crisis. She can model and encourage other women in the church to minister in a similar way.
Elder widows appreciate care from anyone in the church, but they especially appreciate care from younger women.
These interactions can provide a place for the instruction we find in Titus 2:3-4.
When it comes to younger widows, a pastor's wife can be a special friend, a companion and a wise accountability partner.
You need to be intentional in involving your wives to help you avoid becoming ensnared in dangerous situations as you spend time ministering to vulnerable women struggling with emotional and spiritual challenges brought on by their loss. Your wife can help you care for widows while remaining above reproach.
Never underestimate the impact children can have in the lives of others as well.
Children are a gift from God, but they are also a gift to our church family if we are willing to share them.
Your children interacting with widows in the church can be good for them and good for the widows.
Adopt a widow during the holidays
Holidays can be one of the greatest joys, but for widows they can be a time of greatest grief as they are painfully aware of their loss - so invite them in to share the holiday with you.
We have had widows in our church share with our family during thanksgiving and Christmas.
You can also have a special dinner for the widows.
Many will clamor for your time and attention, widows will usually not, you have to be intentional in your care for them.