Mourning in Scripture

Read the following scriptures: - Genesis 53:3 - Numbers 20:29 - Deuteronomy 34:8

What is the common thread in these verses?

Read John 11:17-35. - How long was Lazarus in the grave before Jesus showed up? - Can we assume that Lazarus had been dead longer than that? - What were Mary and Martha doing? - What did Martha say to Jesus? - What was Jesus' response? (verse 35) - Did Jesus know the end result of that day? - Why did He weep then? - What does that tell us about the power of grief?

Read 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18: - What was the Thessalonian ignorant of? - How did Paul refer to the dead? (2) - What was the purpose of Paul writing this? (18)

How the pastor helps with mourning

Typically, a pastor has to do a funeral AND do everything else in their schedule and typically, you only have a day or two to prepare.

Sometimes, you may be asked to do funerals for people that you don't even know.

Every funeral is unique but they are also an awesome opportunity to preach the gospel to a receptive audience.

Before the funeral

I ask the family members to meet with me a day or two before the funeral to ask them questions about the deceased. I usually try to get as many of them to this meeting as possible (I've met with as many as 12 people and as few as 2.)

This meeting has three purposes: 1. To confirm the details of the funeral. 2. To gather stories and information about the deceased to help prepare for the funeral. 3. To give the family a time to share these stories together.

In my experience, the family almost always enjoys this. Attached is a handout I use for these meetings.

I also do two things in this meeting: 1. I pray with the family. 2. I let the family know I will be preaching the gospel during the funeral.

During the funeral

NOTE This is based on funerals in my culture and may be very different your culture. Adapt it to for yourself.

On the day of the funeral, you should try to arrive early. Few things are more embarrassing than being late to a funeral. (It's happened to me)

During the funeral, stay low key. Remember, this funeral is not about you, it is about the deceased and their family and friends. Try to stay out of the way until you are needed.

Preach a short message. Fifteen minutes is long enough for a funeral message.

Try to remember the four purposes of a funeral: 1. Honor the dead. 2. Comfort the grieving. 3. Consider our own life in light of the reality of death. 4. Prepare for what happens after death.

Do not preach lost people into heaven but do not offend the family either. Just preach the gospel.

You will probably want to develop several funeral sermons that you can use at a funeral, and then adapt them for the individual.

My favorite funeral text is Ecclesiastes 7. - I point out how odd it is that Solomon says it's better to go to a funeral than a party. - I ask them what the purpose of a funeral is? - I talk about the person and their life (using the stories I gathered) - I talk about how the funeral should change their life and they way they live (the living shall lay it to his heart) - I talk about how they are going to die and face God and preach the gospel (for that is the end of all men.)

After the funeral

Remember that after a funeral the family is still grieving. It's wise to give special attention to the family and check in on them often in the weeks and months following a loss.

Remember that grieving can last for a long time. Be patient and understanding with people.